Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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