There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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