one two three fourrrrnication!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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