Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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