Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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