so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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