he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
