You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
