Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
