The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
