Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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