someone get that fucking seahorse.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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