she smelled like a LAN party
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
