I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
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