Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i dont even know how to be here
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
