the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
