We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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