The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
