Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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