More tranny stories later!
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
