you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Randomize
