Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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