She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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