Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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