Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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