Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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