I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
