I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
