This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
