he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
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So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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