what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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