dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
