come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
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I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
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I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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