You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
