I saw his package. It spoke to me.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
