He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
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i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
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Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me