I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
