i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
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