Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I can't turn off my feet"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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