is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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