so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
