So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
