3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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