Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet