At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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