Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
