Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
