i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
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He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
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don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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