i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize