i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Quick, to the slutcave!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Sober January is a disaster.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
