So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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