God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
