Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
