i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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