but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize