you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
