just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
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It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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