Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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