no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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