I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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