Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
