If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
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I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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